You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
