Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
