Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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