Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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