It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
