Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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