is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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