girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
