i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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