Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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