She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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