I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
