Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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