New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize