Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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