did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Bring me that man meat
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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