There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i was born a porn star she said
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
