so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
