She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
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I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
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