Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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