girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
