Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
