You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
