she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
