Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm both gender and math confused
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
