He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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