we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
