I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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