We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
