worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
