think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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