their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
