Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
