Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
