He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Operation Purity has been aborted
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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