So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
