you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
