Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
