i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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