Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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