I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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