How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
