did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
