You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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