Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
