Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
then he tried to convert me to islam
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
