You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
