I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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