got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize