How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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