Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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