Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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