ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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