He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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